memoirs from yesteryears of students life

15/2/2007 (4th year posting - anaest)

ookay...yesterday was one of my triumphant moment..i actually intubated a patient..intubation is a process whereby we insert a tube that is attached to a ventilating machine where the patient is paralyzed in general anaesthesia..for a patient to undergo operation.i must say i was so so scared and my hand wasn't stable and kept on shaking..the patient was unconscious, and theoreticaly it sould be relatively easy since the muscle is relaxed and the patient isn't fighting you as you insert the tube inside the the patiennt's mouth.i had to do it in front of the whole staff of nurses, surgeons and also a lot of anaestheticcians'.. of course i fumbled.. but of course i was undersuperiviosn of a specialist..so she helped me a lot..i really don't like being in the operation theater..it's so daunting and yiou feel like a speck of nothing among them..especially since you're a student..where you can do nothihng that can help them..what you can do is irritate them..and become a sitting duck waiting for any nice doctors to come and at least recognize that you're in dire need of help..last night i went on call..alone, this time arounhd..with nobody accompanyihg..so i was stuck with the staff nurses, the doctors on call and of course the patients..it was so horribble,..i really wanted to get back to asrama as fast as i could..why?because,..the doctors don't acknowledge you..so you stand there doing nothing.. and when you ask quesitons..they just reply back with sarcastic remarks..so ..we back down..after enough courage, i aasked whtehr i could do anythig to assist..they just shot back at you.. and the staff nurses never ever acknowledge you.. so all in all we sort of become a zombielike statues at the background..but..not to give a baad impression regarding the doctors or anything like that..most are nice to you..but there are few bad apples that really makes it hard..but i can't really blame them.. i guess since we students ..blurry students..are a bit irritating especially for those who are oncall..who wouldn't be tired..start from morning and ends until the next morning..