OH.. WOE IS ME...

I'm stumped..Sometimes I feel so exasperated about myself. I've been working for almost 1 1/2 year. Currently I'm in my 5th posting. In my posting, I'm the most senior Houseman, except for one of my other friend. By right, by this time, the training for me should be more towards becoming a medical officer. It puts much more pressure per se. To function still as a regular houseman, but the expectation is to already be prepared to become a medical officer.

For those who are not aware of the national health system, after graduation, we are called houseman - " pegawai perubatan siswazah", in which it is a training period for a doctor to be.

Previously the used to be up to 3 -4 postings, then it got extended to 5 postings and the latest system is to include all 6 major postings : surgery, medical, orthopaedics, obstetrics & gynaecology, paediatrics and Accident and emergency. (A&E)

I started my posting with Paediatrics which was quite pleasant. Followed by O&G, orthopaedics, medical and currently surgery. The last posting , insyaAllah would be A&E

I think I have gained quite an experience throughout this 1 & 1/2 year. Truly, it has been a gruelling journey and altogether difference experience than what it used to be as a student.

During the student days, it was mostly hitting the books. The statement ," Go back and read" would always be uttered by our beloved lecturers.

However, during the working days...what matters most is regarding your patients and the responsibility you hold towards them.

To tell you the truth..how you are as person would reflect also how you are as a doctors, in some extent. How you were as a student would also give a base on how you would perform as houseman.

But that how it was when you initially become a houseman..but after a year of toil, you become tired. Tired of going up early, going back home late, taking bloods, setting branulas..and THE ONCALLS....

The thing is , throughout these 2 years...it's all about learning..it is a new learning experience for us..something that we only learned in theory, now comes into practice.

AND IT COMES AT A PRICE... what we are dealing are with real humans..when we do a mistake, it is at the expense of a another person's life. Thus, it must be dealt with seriously..And you DO NOT WANT TO MAKE A MISTAKE...

Once you do a mistake, you feel so bad...to the patients..your medical officer and to yourself. The patients would include always the family members..from wife/husband, son & daughter, sister & Brother, not to count also the aunt, uncle and such...

MOst of the time during the houseman years, most of us are enclosed in the white walls of the hospital. Even if we try to get away from the hospital, we are not able to run away from it.

Every time my friends and I would converse, somewhat or another, we would always eventually talk about the hospitals, be it regarding the staff or what had happened to the ward.

And why is that? because we have no other life except for being in the hospital..but interestingly, with so much time spent, still i feel that it is an inadequate training to become a competent doctor..