That old feeling again...

SURGERY...here we come...

sometimes i get confused...or more of a mixed feeling, so to speak...

during the end of my medical posting, i was a bit enthralled regarding further my studies in the department..

it has been during my student days that i was slightly awed with medical..

I do admit that the workload in medical posting supersede other postings but it feels somewhat exciting...

Probably I am not that enthused with the prospect in other postings that would need for us to go through operations...

But during the medical posting, I was delighted to be a doctor, at least for once...

Allah has granted me to be working with one medical officer that had inspired much..

She was such a dedicated doctor...very knowledgeable and very efficient...

She had inspired me to the extent that I felt the need to be a good and wholesome doctor..

but alas, the inspiration dwindled as I seeped into the holidays..

Even though it was only more than 1 week away from the hospital..yet it was enough to loosen up the enthralled feeling that once resided within me...

As you drift away from the profession, even for a while, then the sinking feeling of going through arduous work gets into you..

The oncalls..the resuscitation..the morning bloods..repeat bloods..presenting to specialists...i repeat...oncalls..oncalls and oncalls..

the stress in the hospital comes and haunt you again...

The next posting will be surgical posting..it will be my 5th posting...2nd last posting until I would become a medical officer... and this 2 year stint as houseman would finally come to an end,..

But then again..there would be lots more responsibilities.. and you cannot run away from the dreaded oncalls...

Honestly, I am scared to face the next posting..The expectation would be higher when you are a 5th poster..You are expected to function as a mini MO..or junior MO..Whereas, in reality Junior MO starts during 4th posting, but nowadays, it's sort of different..

Well...that is part of the training programme, I guess...

Ya Allah, do help me throughout the next posting...