Lo and behold, it is already into the 2nd week of ramadhan. I do not know how my state of being is during this holy month. Much thought is pondering on the hospital and the stress involved, that lastly i am drowned by the subdued feeling of neverending torment of hospital life.
I miss the ramadhan days spent during the university years. There were plenty of tadarus, tadabbur and tazkirah. There was not any agonizing whether the tarawih is able to be performed or not.
Now, things have changed. A LOT ..the usual group that we used to hang out with, eat with, solat with...they have gone to their own direction.
Life has not been as easy as it has been.
the working life is certainly different from the protected and sheltered university life.
Now, there are questions of work and the responsibility it involves..and other aspects of life...such as house, car and of course the issue of marriage.
Those are important aspects that did not arise during which we were busy studying. Yet, those issues will become such important aspect in life and will somehow or other determine the course of life that one will take.
Then again, there will also be much discussions with parents. Previously, they just encourage you to study and leave all other matters to them..but now, it's different.
The university life was a sort of an utopian world. There were the protective lecturers, the best friends, and the supportive parents. The goal was to reach for the high grades. In medical student days, whereby we were cast off in the jungle with not so much of distraction, there wasn't much obstacles to surpass.
The usual week would include the endless lectures and studying. The weekly usrah with the beloved naqibah..the tazkirah, and such. The ultimate challenge was the end of posting exams..and not to forget the weekly case presentations...which would get us churning with fear.
But once you have graduated from the university life, you would embark on a journey which you are not familiar. With people you are not so accustomed with...on a path you do not recognize.
What more when you finally get to have your own income...and you realize that this is your own money...
With that comes more challenges...the shoppings, the eating outs..and the realization that you have much more responsibility now with the money, it is not really for you...you have your family, the relatives..and the people around you who are also in need of others...
And you realize that it is quite easy to be thrown into the whirlwind, and follow the crowd. The dreams that you once had, sometimes do not quite match the likings of others..
Ya Allah , do not stray us from the right path..Show us the path of those You Redha..the path of the syahid...the path of the Rasul ....