Monday, November 30, 2009

Sakitnya perut..


"sakitnya perut...ish..!" ..Air mata Rosnah membasahi pipinya..Aku dah tak tahan ni..getus hatinya

"kenapa ni Senah...dari tadi lagi asyik dok mengeluh.." ibunya memandang ke arahnya..Rungsing melihat anak bongsunya menahan kesakitan

"Mak bawak Senah ke hospital sekarang ye..risaulah mak lihat senah , semakin lama makin sakit je nampak.."
" saya dr. jenab..datang sebab sakit apa ye?"
" anak saya ni...dari semalam lagi sakit perut..tak pernah saya tengok dia sakit macam ni"

seterusnya Dr jenab menemuramah Rosnah:



generally , patient is in pain, dehydrated. Not tachycardic, Blood pressure still within normal range. per abdomen, the abdomen is mildly distended, soft, tender on the Right iliac fosse. no guarding or rigidity. no mass palpable or visualized.





What is a bowel obstruction?
A bowel obstruction happens when either your small or large intestine is partly or completely blocked. The blockage prevents food, fluids, and gas from moving through the intestines in the normal way. The blockage may cause severe pain that comes and goes.

Obstruction of the small bowel leads to proximal dilatation of the intestine due to accumulation of GI secretions and swallowed air.

This bowel dilatation stimulates cell secretory activity resulting in more fluid accumulation. This leads to increased peristalsis both above and below the obstruction with frequent loose stools and flatus early in its course.

Vomiting occurs if the level of obstruction is proximal. Increasing small-bowel distention leads to increased intraluminal pressures. This can cause compression of mucosal lymphatics leading to bowel wall lymphedema. With even higher intraluminal hydrostatic pressures, increased hydrostatic pressure in the capillary beds results in massive third spacing of fluid, electrolytes, and proteins into the intestinal lumen. The fluid loss and dehydration that ensue may be severe and contribute to increased morbidity and mortality.

Strangulated Small bowel Obtructions are most commonly associated with adhesions and occur when a loop of distended bowel twists on its mesenteric pedicle. The arterial occlusion leads to bowel ischemia and necrosis. If left untreated, this progresses to perforation, peritonitis, and death.

Bacteria in the gut proliferate proximal to the obstruction. Microvascular changes in the bowel wall allow translocation to the mesenteric lymph nodes. This is associated with an increase in incidence of bacteremia due to Escherichia coli, but the clinical significance is unclear.






Saturday, November 28, 2009


Alhamdulillah, this year I had been blessed with being able to celebrate the eiduladha with my family. I think for the past 2 years , it was not so.

however, celebrating the eid at KL was nonetheless, a far cry from that in Kota Bharu. It seemed to be like any other day.

Being that I do not have the pleasure as to dwell in numerous holidays, I had taken this opportunity as to pay a visit to the book store. Something was disturbing my mind and my heart, and books have been an endearing way for me to release the pressure that was buiding within me.

I had come across a book that I had read more than 10 years ago and had touched me deeply. It was written by Daniel Keyes, entitled Flowers for Algernon. It revolves around Charlie, who was not so bright and was later given a leash of life when he undergone an experiment whereby his intelligence was heightened. It depicts how his life had changed as he honestly tells it in a diary and subsequently how he suffered when the change of IQ lasted only for a while.

i had thought of buying that book when I had come across another book that caught my attention. It was called the Hadj, written by Michael Wolfe, an account of an American's pilgrimage to Mecca. He is an author and had embraced islam and since then had written a lot about ISlam, mostly regarding the Hajj.

I'm halfway through right now and the book had enchanted me in so many ways. And it also brought about memories and previous conflicts that I used to have regarding the religion. It honestly puts up questions and wonderings by someone who is in search of the right religion.

During my childhood, I had the opportunity to live in the US, in which I feel that it had changed my life forever .

I used to be such a quiet girl, as to the extent I had been labelled taciturn by my teachers there.
It felt hard fitting in. I was only 11 years old back then. Moving to a different country did not bode well at first. I had come from a small town in Kelantan,..not even used to going to the K.L, but then totally drift to an altogether different culture and country was a nervewrecking experience.

I had worn the scarf at the time, but not completely covering my aurah at the time. When I had arrived there and had to enroll in the primary school, I was the only one wearing the scarf.

I had felt like an outcast. Many of them would cast glances at me, but many of them were nice enough. The thing about American is that they are friendly towards you.

I had enrolled in the 4th grade, with Mrs. Sallee as my class teacher. The classroom were cosy and had a library-esque kind of feeling. It was fully carpeted and there were arrays of books stacked in every corner. The chairs were colorfully painted and there were games stashed inside the cupboards.

Initially I had trouble fitting in, of course. They had never seen anybody wearing the scarf before. What more is that, oklahoma, where I was living at the time, is considered part of the christian belt. There were few Arabs or Malaysians at the school, but none of them wore the scarf. I also suffered language problem, in which I was not able to converse in english.

That had made me a certified prey for bullying. Every afternoon, during reccess, I had to suffer a few namecallings and interrogations from a boy next door.

And then I felt more alienated as I had to creep back to my classroom in the afternoon to solat. I had explained to my class teacher regarding our duty to perform the solat 5 times a day. During that tiem , zohor would end by the time I arrive home from school. Thus, I needed a place to perform the solat at school. The only time available, was during the recess time where the class would be empty.

It had become a problem later on when some students had lost some things and they had accused that it was stolen. The thing is, I became a suspect somewhat since i would go back to the classroom during which nobody was in side the class. Nevertheless, the teacher was nice enough as not to point out this fact to everybody else.

Primary school was still peaceful and I had been able to go through it rather nicely. ..Only to suffer much more so as I enter the Middle school. In oklahoma, Middle school consists of 6th and 7th grade. There was only one middle school in stillwater, thus all the primary schoolchildren from stillwater had to go to the Stillwater middle school.

Thus began another journey for me..At the time, I was 12 years old.

Middle school was much more larger and difficult to adapt for me. Now there were students from all the primary schools of stillwater. IT starts all over again. I was still the only one wearing the scarf. This time around, I had to wear the full gear,covering my aurah. My elder brother did not suffer much, as there was nothing to distinct him from others.

At this time, I had become more paranoid and felt much more out of place. Middle school was burgeoning a different kind of atmosphere. During these years, the students were much more social. There were dances, datings and the popular groups.

I fared well in the academic side, which then became a somewhat of a savior to me during this period of my life.

luckily enough I had founds friends that would become my staple group. They were above average students but socially apt.

But something -- someone had come way of that changed the scene of my life at this time.

His name was Joel. He was in the same language arts and science class as me. OF course, being the only person wearing the scarf there attracted much attention from the students there. And again, I became the prey of many jokes there. Including him.

They did not understand much about Islam. THey thought I had worn this because of culture. Especially when there are also muslims in the school , but did not wear properly.They even wore shorts to school.That had created a bit of a problem for me to explain it to the students.

During this time, I had suffered severe low self esteem. I was a foreigner of course, of different religion and the only one wearing the hijab and covering the aurah. I did not mix well with the opposite gender.

I was also having trouble to find time and a place to perform the solat. Here we have to move to 6 different classes each day. I performed my wudu' during reccess and would perform the solat whenever there was free time. In between breaks, and most of the time, it was during class or in the bus. Because Zohor would end during my trip home.

I was 12 at the time, and at some point I began to question myself as to why I need to do all this obligations - wearing hijab, not mixing with the opposite gender, perform solat..Whereas all my other peers are having the time of their life.

I began to question my religion. I began to question their religion.

All of us were born into the religion that we were in right now.

Thus, who to saywhich one is right?

There was not an ustaz or ustazah there which I could seek help.

There was an Islamic center in which we sometimes would learn the quran, and situated just a few houses away from where I was staying.

Internet was still new at the time and there were not much sites that I could really look for.

At the same time, I felt so guilty as to question my own religion.

I had found solace in observation.

The fun and freedom that I was envying them..what was it?
I finally realized after some time of observation, that our life needs a rule. We can't just simply do whatever we want, or else it would be chaos.

Take for example, the school's ruling, that a student is now allowed to dress inappropriately, in which they are not supposed to wear apparels that is see through or exposing much skin.

In Islam, we have a specific rulings already regarding aurah.

If not for the regulations by the Islamic law, our life would be in hazardous state, i realize that. Islam teaches us how to be a good person with a balance between the spiritual and worldly aspect.

The struggle to keep steadfast to my religion had shaped me to become a stronger person.Alhamdulillah, it is with Allah's will.

La hawla wala quwwata illa billah...

Friday, November 27, 2009

A Case of Sudden onset of breathlessness

" Aduh...sakitnya dada..." keluh Abdullah. Tangannya mengusap-usap dadanya.

" Kenapa ni Dollah?" Rosli mula risau..kellihatan Abdullah berada dalam kesakitan yang amat. Dahinya berkerut dan nafasnya makin susah..

Tanpa melengahkan masa lagi..dia segera di bawa ke kecemasan...

Dr Ira was working at the A&E at the time...

The case: Abdullah, 39 year old malay gentleman, who has no known medical illness, but was a heavy smoker had presented to the emergency department with sudden onset of chest pain and shortness of breath...

o/e not breathless at the moment, diminished breathsounds and hyperresonant note on the right lower side of the chest

provisional diagnosis;
How would you investigate this patient?


provisional diagnosis;pneumothorax

Chest X RAy
Blood gases

A pneumothorax refers to a collection of gas in the pleural space resulting in collapse of the lung on the affected side.

What are the causes of pneumothorax
Primary spontaneous pneumothorax
    • Spontaneous pneumothorax is heavily associated with smoking, with 80-90% of primary spontaneous pneumothorax cases occurring in smokers.
    • Physical height: It has been noted that typical patients tend to have a tall and thin body habitus. Whether height affects development of subpleural blebs or whether more negative apical pleural pressures cause preexisting blebs to rupture is unclear.
    • Valsalva results in increased intrathoracic pressure. However, contrary to popular belief, most spontaneous pneumothoraces occur while the patient is at rest.
    • Changes in atmospheric pressure, proximity to loud music, and low frequency noises have also been reported to be associated with pneumothorax
    • Familial associations have been noted in more than 10% of patients. Some are due to rare connective tissue diseases, but recently, mutations in the gene encoding folliculin (FLCN) have been described. These patients may represent an incomplete penetrance of a genetic disorder. Birt-Hogg-Dube syndrome is characterized by benign skin growths, pulmonary cysts, and renal cancers and is caused by mutations in the FLCN gene.
  • Secondary spontaneous pneumothorax
  • Iatrogenic pneumothorax
    • Transthoracic needle aspiration procedures (most common cause, accounting for 32-37% of cases)
    • Subclavian and supraclavicular needle sticks
    • Thoracentesis
    • Mechanical ventilation (directly related to peak airway pressures)
    • Pleural biopsy
    • Transbronchial lung biopsy
    • Cardiopulmonary resuscitation (Consider the possibility of a pneumothorax if ventilation becomes progressively more difficult.)
    • Tracheostomy
  • Pneumomediastinum
    • Acute production of high intrathoracic pressures (often as a result of inhalational drug use)
    • Smoking marijuana
    • Inhalation of cocaine
    • Asthma
    • Athletic competition
    • Respiratory tract infection
    • Parturition
    • Emesis
    • Severe cough
    • Mechanical ventilation
    • Trauma or surgical disruption of the oropharyngeal, esophageal, or respiratory mucosa

Radiological findings
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Fig 3
(left) Loculated left sided pneumothorax in a patient with severe chronic obstructive airways disease. Placement of chest drain into fifth intercostal space (arrow) might have entered lung parenchyma and would most likely not have achieved complete drainage of this loculated collection. (right) Percutaneous pigtail catheters (arrows) placed in apical and basal components of pneumothorax under fluoroscopic guidance. After several days of drainage the lung re-expanded completely
BMJ. 2005 June 25; 330(7506): 1493–1497.
doi: 10.1136/bmj.330.7506.1493.

A true pneumothorax line. Note that the visceral pleural line is observed clearly, with the absence of vascular marking beyond the pleural line.



Emergency Department Care

Immediate attention to the ABCs while assessing vital signs and oxygen saturation is paramount. ED care depends on the hemodynamic stability of the patient. All patients should receive supplemental oxygen to increase oxygen saturation and to enhance the reabsorption of free air. Treatments for primary and secondary spontaneous pneumothorax are the following:

  • Primary spontaneous pneumothorax
    • If the pneumothorax is smaller than 15% (or estimated as small, see Imaging Studies) and the patient is symptomatic but hemodynamically stable, needle aspiration is the treatment of choice.
    • If the pneumothorax is smaller than 15% and if the patient is asymptomatic, many consider observation to be the treatment of choice. (If the patient is admitted, administer oxygen, since this has been shown to speed resolution of the pneumothorax.)
    • If the pneumothorax is greater than 15% (or estimated as large, see Imaging Studies), aspiration using a pigtail catheter left to low suction or water seal is recommended.
  • Secondary spontaneous pneumothorax
    • Tube thoracostomy is the procedure of choice.
    • Pleurodesis decreases the risk of recurrence, as does thoracotomy or video-assisted thoracoscopy to excise the bullae.
  • Iatrogenic pneumothorax: Aspiration is the technique of choice for iatrogenic pneumothoraces because recurrence usually is not a factor. Tube thoracostomy is reserved for very symptomatic patients.
  • Most patients with pneumomediastinum should be admitted and observed for signs of serious complications (eg, pneumothorax, tension pneumothorax, mediastinitis). If the pneumomediastinum occurred from the inhalation of cocaine or smoking of marijuana, observation in the ED for progression may be indicated.


Thursday, November 26, 2009


I'm very much intrigued in the whole phoenomenom in war. It is not to say that I agree to the action. But, it is interesting to note how a person is ' motivated' so to speak, or can be engineered to the extent as to risk his own life as to be involved in a war.

Being in a war, essentially means that you are willing to sacrifice everything that you have, including your own life

What we are willing to sacrifice for a belief is daunting..
but to what extent?
for what reason?
is it enough to justify the loss of your own people?economy?risk the civilization that others before you have built?

One of the greatest war ever was of course the World War II in which history has changed forever.

Hitler ultimately wanted to establish a New Order of absolute Nazi German hegemony in Europe. To achieve this, he pursued a foreign policy with the declared goal of seizing Lebensraum "living space" for the Aryan people; directing the resources of the state towards this goal.


Casualties and war crimes
World War II deaths
Estimates for the total casualties of the war vary, but most suggest that some 60 million people died in the war, including about 20 million soldiers and 40 million civilians.

Many civilians died because of disease, starvation, massacres, bombing and deliberate genocide. The Soviet Union lost around 27 million people during the war, almost half of all World War II deaths.[253] Of the total deaths in World War II, approximately 85 percent were on the Allied side (mostly Soviet and Chinese) and 15 percent on the Axis side.

The effects of World War II had far-reaching implications for the international community. Many millions of lives had been lost as a result of the war. Germany was divided into four quadrants, which were controlled by the Allied Powers — the United States, Great Britain, France, and the Soviet Union. The war can be identified to varying degrees as the catalyst for many continental, national and local phenomena, such as the redrawing of European borders, the birth of the United Kingdom's welfare state, the communist takeover of China and Eastern Europe, the creation of Israel, and the 4 divisions of Germany and Korea and later of Vietnam. In addition, many organizations have roots in the Second World War; for example, the United Nations, the World Bank, the WTO, and the IMF. Technologies, such as nuclear fission, the computer and the jet engine, also appeared during this period.

A multipolar world was replaced by a bipolar one dominated by the two most powerful victors, the United States and Soviet Union, which became known as the superpowers

What we see today in our world, in which so oftenly we take for granted, is the result from those who toil before us. So many things have shaped and defined our world today, but we do not realize its importance and many of us, including myself, only take in stride..

CEO of the Decade

Fortune Magazine Steve Jobs: CEO of the decade

The decade of Steve

How Apple's imperious, brilliant CEO transformed American business.

By Adam Lashinsky, editor at large
Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple

He revived Apple and remade entire industries, defying the worst economic conditions since the Great Depression -- and his own serious health problems.

(Fortune magazine) -- How's this for a gripping corporate story line: Youthful founder gets booted from his company in the 1980s, returns in the 1990s, and in the following decade survives two brushes with death, one securities-law scandal, an also-ran product lineup, and his own often unpleasant demeanor to become the dominant personality in four distinct industries, a billionaire many times over, and CEO of the most valuable company in Silicon Valley.

Sound too far-fetched to be true? Perhaps. Yet it happens to be the real-life story of Steve Jobs and his outsize impact on everything he touches.

The past decade in business belongs to Jobs. What makes that simple statement even more remarkable is that barely a year ago it seemed likely that any review of his accomplishments would be valedictory. But by deeds and accounts, Jobs is back.

It's as if his signature "one more thing" line now applies to him as well. After a six-month leave of absence in the early part of this year, during which he received a liver transplant, he is once again commanding a 34,000-strong corporate army that is as powerful, awe-inspiring, creative, secretive, bullying, arrogant -- and yes, profitable -- as at any time since he and his chum Steve Wozniak founded Apple (AAPL, Fortune 500) in 1976.

Superlatives have attached themselves to Jobs since he was a young man. Now that he's 54, merely listing his achievements is sufficient explanation of why he's Fortune's CEO of the Decade (though the superlatives continue). In the past 10 years alone he has radically and lucratively reordered three markets -- music, movies, and mobile telephones -- and his impact on his original industry, computing, has only grown.

Remaking any one business is a career-defining achievement; four is unheard-of. Think about that for a moment. Henry Ford altered the course of the nascent auto industry. PanAm's Juan Trippe invented the global airline. Conrad Hilton internationalized American hospitality.

In all instances, and many more like them, these entrepreneurs turned captains of industry defined a single market that had previously not been dominated by anyone. The industries that Jobs has turned topsy-turvy already existed when he focused on them.

He is the rare businessman with legitimate worldwide celebrity. (His quirks and predilections are such common knowledge that they were knowingly parodied on an episode of "The Simpsons.") He pals around with U2's Bono.

Consumers who have never picked up an annual report or even a business magazine gush about his design taste, his elegant retail stores, and his outside-the-box approach to advertising. ("Think different," indeed.)

It's often noted that he's a showman, a born salesman, a magician who creates a famed reality-distortion field, a tyrannical perfectionist. It's totally accurate, of course, and the descriptions contribute to his legend.

Yet for all his hanging out with copywriters and industrial designers and musicians -- and despite his anticorporate attire -- make no mistake: Jobs is all about business. He may not pay attention to customer research, but he works slavishly to make products customers will buy.

He's a visionary, but he's grounded in reality too, closely monitoring Apple's various operational and market metrics. He isn't motivated by money, says friend Larry Ellison, CEO of Oracle (ORCL, Fortune 500). Rather, Jobs is understandably driven by a visceral ardor for Apple, his first love (to which he returned after being spurned -- proof that you can go home again) and the vehicle through which he can be both an arbiter of cool and a force for changing the world.

The financial results have been nothing short of astounding -- for Apple and for Jobs. The company was worth about $5 billion in 2000, just before Jobs unleashed Apple's groundbreaking "digital lifestyle" strategy, understood at the time by few critics. Today, at about $170 billion, Apple is slightly more valuable than Google (GOOG, Fortune 500).

Its market share in personal computers was plummeting back then, and the cash drain was so severe that bankruptcy was a possibility. Now Apple has $34 billion in cash and marketable securities, surpassing the total market cap of rival Dell (DELL, Fortune 500). Macintoshes make up 9% of the PC market in the U.S. today, but that share is increasingly beside the point.

With 275 retail stores in nine countries, a 73% share of the U.S. MP3 player market, and the undisputed leadership position in innovation when it comes to mobile phones, Apple and its CEO are no one's idea of underdogs anymore.

In 2006 Disney (DIS, Fortune 500) paid $7.5 billion to acquire Pixar, the computer animation film studio Jobs had nurtured and controlled. Jobs, in turn, became a Disney director and the blue-chip company's largest shareholder. His net worth, solely based on his stakes in Apple and Disney, is about $5 billion. Other executives have had stellar decades but none can compare with Steve's.

With Jobs back at the helm of his company, plenty of challenges lie ahead. Will the Goliath role suit him nearly as well as playing David clearly has? How will he respond to the competition he has awakened, particularly in smartphones, even as the personal computer fades in relative importance? Has he fashioned an organization that can succeed him? Can he possibly be as dominant in the decade to come as the one that is ending?

The "decade" of Steve actually began in 1997, when he returned to Apple after having been ousted a dozen years earlier. That was a year of triage, of a humbling investment from Microsoft (MSFT, Fortune 500), of paring Apple's product line to a bare minimum of four computers.


I'm stumped..Sometimes I feel so exasperated about myself. I've been working for almost 1 1/2 year. Currently I'm in my 5th posting. In my posting, I'm the most senior Houseman, except for one of my other friend. By right, by this time, the training for me should be more towards becoming a medical officer. It puts much more pressure per se. To function still as a regular houseman, but the expectation is to already be prepared to become a medical officer.

For those who are not aware of the national health system, after graduation, we are called houseman - " pegawai perubatan siswazah", in which it is a training period for a doctor to be.

Previously the used to be up to 3 -4 postings, then it got extended to 5 postings and the latest system is to include all 6 major postings : surgery, medical, orthopaedics, obstetrics & gynaecology, paediatrics and Accident and emergency. (A&E)

I started my posting with Paediatrics which was quite pleasant. Followed by O&G, orthopaedics, medical and currently surgery. The last posting , insyaAllah would be A&E

I think I have gained quite an experience throughout this 1 & 1/2 year. Truly, it has been a gruelling journey and altogether difference experience than what it used to be as a student.

During the student days, it was mostly hitting the books. The statement ," Go back and read" would always be uttered by our beloved lecturers.

However, during the working days...what matters most is regarding your patients and the responsibility you hold towards them.

To tell you the you are as person would reflect also how you are as a doctors, in some extent. How you were as a student would also give a base on how you would perform as houseman.

But that how it was when you initially become a houseman..but after a year of toil, you become tired. Tired of going up early, going back home late, taking bloods, setting branulas..and THE ONCALLS....

The thing is , throughout these 2's all about is a new learning experience for us..something that we only learned in theory, now comes into practice.

AND IT COMES AT A PRICE... what we are dealing are with real humans..when we do a mistake, it is at the expense of a another person's life. Thus, it must be dealt with seriously..And you DO NOT WANT TO MAKE A MISTAKE...

Once you do a mistake, you feel so the patients..your medical officer and to yourself. The patients would include always the family members..from wife/husband, son & daughter, sister & Brother, not to count also the aunt, uncle and such...

MOst of the time during the houseman years, most of us are enclosed in the white walls of the hospital. Even if we try to get away from the hospital, we are not able to run away from it.

Every time my friends and I would converse, somewhat or another, we would always eventually talk about the hospitals, be it regarding the staff or what had happened to the ward.

And why is that? because we have no other life except for being in the hospital..but interestingly, with so much time spent, still i feel that it is an inadequate training to become a competent doctor..

Saturday, November 14, 2009

nilai lah seseorang itu dengan neraca yang benar

Pada hemat ana yang tidak seberapa ini, ingin ana utarakan pandangan ana tentang isu wahabi dan juga aliran 'tajdid' yang telah dikritik oleh beberapa pihak. Ana bukan lah yang layak untuk memperkatakan dan membincangkan bab ini, akan tetapi ia merupakan sesuatu yang agak sensitif kepada ana.

apabila kita mendengar perkataan wahabi, terus dalam minda kita terbayangkan sesuatu yang sesat dan lagi menyesatkan. akan tetapi, apakah kita mengetahui apakah maksud wahabi? di sini ana tidak berniat untuk memperdalamkan untuk diskusi tentang tajuk ini. Akan tetapi ana hanya ingin melahirkan pandangan tentang seseorang yang dikaitkan dengan isu ini.

dan semestinya isu ini dikaitkan dengan seorang tokoh yang sudah dikenali ramai iaitu Dr.asri. Ana telah mengikuti kuliahya sejak 2003, sewaktu ana tahun pertama di universiti. Pada masa itu, ana masih ghairah untuk mendapatkan ilmu-ilmu agama di mana sahaja, dan tidak mengendahkan dari siapa.

kali pertama ana mendengar ucapan beliau merupakan dalam sebuah seminar berkenaan ahli sunnah wal jamaah. Ana merupakan seseorang yang tidak pernah mempunyai pengalaman berada dalam suasana 'sekolah agama', malah sebelum ini hanya terdedah kepada suasana yang tidak islamik. Jadi, konsep ahli sunnah wal jamaah adalah benda yang agak asing bagi pada ketika itu.

Ana tertarik dengan pendekatan yang diambil oleh dr asri dalam menyampaikan ceramah beliau. Sejak itu,ana sentiasa mengambil peluang untuk mengikuti kuliah-kuliahnya sekiranya mempunyai kesempatan.

ana bukanlah bermaksud menyatakan bahawa ana setuju dengan semua yang diperkatakannya,bahkan itulah yang sentiasa diingatkan pada mereka yang mengikuti kuliah beliau, iaitu untuk tidak ghulu' atau taasub.

antara impak yang begitu besar dari ana dapat iaitu untuk berfikir balik secara kritis, mengetahui balik dari mana sumber sesuatu dan untuk mendalami kembali 2 rujukan utama iaitu alquran dan sunnah.

pada ketika ini ana baru sedar betapa luasnya ilmu tentang agama dan semuanya merujuk kepada alquran dan sunnah. cabanng agama sangat luas sebenarnya, dan bagi seseorang seperti ana yang sememangnya tidak pernah mempunyai background agama, ia merupakan sesuatu yang agak baru dan tidak pernah diketahui. Selama ini dunia ana hanya berkisarkan tentang makan, minum , solat, pelajaran di sekolah , kawan-kawan , dan hiburan. ana tidak pernah pedulikan untuk mendalami ilmu agama selain mendengar ceramah-ceramah dari sesiapa.

Akan tetapi, dari pendedahan ini, baru ana tahu betap indahnya agama ini. Tidakkah kita sedari bahawa ilmu agama dalam islam sangat di jaga,iaitu untuk kita mendapatkan ilmu sekarang adalah dari suatu periwayatan dari tokoh-tokoh agama yang sangat amanah tentang agama ini. Ilmu periwayatan hadis, dan melalui cabang -cabang lain seperti tafsir , fiqh , usul fiqh.

dalam keghairahan kita untuk mendapatkan keunggulan dan cemerlang dalam bidang akademik, kita sudah lupa akan mempertingkatkan ilmu kita tentang agama. Di sini ingin ana ingatkan bahawa agama bukanlah milik seseorang ustaz dan sesiapa yang berada dalam bidang itu. Islam adalah bukan sekadar agama, ia merupkan suatu cara hidup. Oleh itu, kita perlu tahu cara-cara nya kerana islam menyentuh aspek kehidupan,ia bukan merupakan suatu khazanah ilmu semata-mata.

Sekarang sudah ramai graduan yang mempunyai masters atau PhD, malah tesis dan research sudah pun diajar tika undergraduate lagi. Kita sudah pun menuju ke arah zaman information di mana maklumat boleh didapati di mana -mana sahaja. sekiranya kita berupaya untuk bertungkus lumus untuk mendapatkan segulung ijazah, semestinya kita juga mempunyai keupayaan untuk memperdalamkan juga tentang ilmu agama, bukan setakat menadah telinga sahaja mendengar.

akan tetapi yang sedihnya adalah apabila seseorang yang sudahpun mempunyai latarbelakang agama mengatakan apa yang dipelajarinya, bersertakan hujah dan dalil dianggap seolah boleh memesongkan agama. kalau begitu, para artis yang beragama islam melakukan maksiat dan perkara yang bertentangan dengan agama dengan terang-terangan sekali dan disiarkan di seluruh negara menerusi kaca tv dan berupaya untuk menjadi ikutan remaja sekarang, apakah nama tindakan itu?


Sunday, November 8, 2009

luahan tika zaman student...revisited

Peranan harakah islamiah dlm dnt..

Kini, gerakan jemaah haraki bkn lg suatu perkara yg asing di dunia ipta. Kebangkitan jemaah plg kuat terasa di Malaysia, pd lingkungan 70-80’an di mana kita melihat pada adanya surge of Islamic revivalism in Malaysia.

Di situ, (mengikut biografi tokoh gerakan di Malaysia ini) kelihatan bibit2 kecintaan trhdp isu islami. Contohnya, kita melihat adanya perkembangan nombor dr mereka yg mula memakai tudung. IPTA pd ketika itu menjadi tempat penyebaran dakwah ini. Manusia ketika itu baru mula sedar dari tidur yg panjang lena.

Pada ms itu juga, tekanan trhdp this new revivalism was at its greatest. Namun, ternyata tekanan yg dikenakan tlh brjaya utk repress the ongoing revivalism. Persoalannya, apakah kekuatan pd ms tu blm lg kuat utk menangkis serangan yg bertubi?Di manakah silapnya?kalau kita meneliti pd ms tu, blh dikatakan smgt mereka sgtlh kuat.Kita tinjau pula suasana ipta pasca era 90’s dan kini pd zaman millennium.

Kita tidak blh nafikan bahawasanya kemodenan yg dikecapi skrg adalah suatu benda yg blh dikatakan way beyond what we thought we could do before. Yes, I do agree to some extent that the modernization has helped the country in many aspects, as to refer to the education and the economic aspect. Yes, again regarding the professionalism, Malaysia have been able to produce laden of professionals..many degree holders. That is one feat that is not to look down upon.Tapi cuba kita meneliti suasana sekarang dgn lebih kritis..dgn minda yg lebih terbuka & iman yg hidup.

Walaupun scr eksterior kita melihat Malaysia adalah suatu negara yg democratic, aman, progressive & ‘islamic’ to some extent.Tapi adakah keadaan negara kita skrg menepati ciri2 syariah islamiah yg sbnrnya?jika tidak, sejauh manakah kita tlh lari dr landasan yg sebenar?Memandangkn saya masih lagi seorang student, yg blm lg menempuh alam pekerjaan & kehidupan luar yg lagi challenging..Saya hanya blh menilai dari kaca mata seorang student…

Pada awal penulisan ini, I’ve mentioned regarding the gerakan jemaah haraki di, I would like to again reiterate the peranan it plays in the campus.Jika dulu kita lihat mereka yg menganggotai jemaah ini adalah mereka yg menjadi penggerak..yg bersuara lantang menegakkan kebenaran..yg menjdkn kampus suatu medan utk bergerak..kini suasana itu tidak lagi kelihatan.Kini..dan selamanya..para pelajar terlalu sibuk memikirkan bab2 study..iaitu segulung ijazah yg menjadi rebutan..cita2 menggunung..1st class honors..and what nots..again, I must stress that I am not against it at all..i believe wholeheartedly that as a muslim, we must strive our best..regardless in what field.Tapi I cannot help it but feel disappointed, to say the least.

Dlm kesibukan kita mencapai cita2, kita tlh melupakan matlamat kita yang sebenar..Kita tlh meninggalkan tugas kita yang unggul & membiarkan Islam dicemari begitu sahaja.Jika suatu ketika dahulu IPT menjadi penyebar fikrah islami yg berjaya, kini ia hanyalah suatu institusi utk mndptkn segulung ijazah..bkn utk membina kefahamn yg lebih mendalam & luas. Namun, saya tidak menafikan bhwsanya masih lagi ada nadi yg bergerak dlm kampus itu, tapi nadi itu terlalu lemah utk revive the entire body that is too weak.Usaha2 murni yg tlh dilakukan oleh our previous predecessors, in terms of building the Islamic environment within our society, yet cannot compete with the ever expanding jahiliyah empire.And again I ask, where did we go wrong?

Skrg tlh muncul byk gerakan islamiah..yg berdaftar & yg x brdftar...kolej2 islam, ratusan sekolah agama, menengah atau rendah..tapi kita lihat juga perkembangan jahiliyah yg juga begitu menakjubkan. For every Islamic things that have cropped up, there’s bound to be in place of it svrl times more of the Jahiliah things.Apakah institusi2 islam yg dibina tidak mencukupi?bknkah ribuan graduan Islamic studies that are generated each year? Adakah nombor2 ini tidak memadai?Bukan kah bilangan masjid/surau/madrasah makin brtambah for each year?Namun..persoalannya, what is the matter?Gerakan harakiah pada masa kini, jika kita teliti, dr segi numbernya it seems to be cuba kita lihat dari segi kualiti..Apakah mereka yg menganggotai gerakan itu memahami apakah tugas/peranan mereka?Ini juga merupakan masalah utama yg menghambat perjalanan suatu gerakan.

Kita lihat kini ramai yg mengikuti system usrah atau prog2..namun apakah mereka memahami apakah konsep di sebalik usrah itu?ia bkn sekadar pertemuan biasa, di mana kita hanya mendengar & berkata2 smata..Kini menjadi virus kpd suatu gerakan islamiah di mana ahli2 trasa ‘comfortable’ bila masa tlh join sesuatu Jemaah. Ikut program is just a preparation..the real challenge & the ultimate aim of the gerakan is to hasilkn para du’at. Bilamana masa seseorang itu tlh memahami tugasnya utk berperanan sbg seorang dai’e ilallah barulah dinamakn ia benar2 menganggotai sesebuah jemaah islam itu. Ini adlh kerana sesebuah jemaah islam yg sebenar adlh yg mencontohi jemaah Rasulullah & para sahabat. Iaitu suatu jemaah dakwah yg hidup dari prinsipnya..inilah baru blh dikatakan benar2 suatu jemaah harakiah islamiah.Slh satu problem yg dialami oleh para anggota jemaah harakiah adalh mereka yg tidak mempunyai kefahaman yg mndlm ttg alquran & sunnah ttp bersemangat utk mnjadi para amilin. Kita tahu bhw ilmu adalh sgt pntg bg mereka yg ingin menjadi para duat..ilmu dari segi agama & juga aspek psikologi amatlh penting.

Bukan setakat itu, para duat kini perlu menjadi mereka yg berfikiran kritikal. Tidak memadai setakat mereka mengikut proses tanpa memahami hakikat di sebaliknya. Rukun faham, seperti yg digariskn oleh ust Hassan al Banna, adalh suatu prinsip yg kita perlu ada & contohi.Tetapi ada juga yg terlalu mengagungkn prinsip haraki tp tidak menghalusi tradisi Hadith & sunnah. Prinsip haraki mempunyai dasar yg didapati drp kitab alquran & juga sunnah..jika para duat tidak teliti dr konsep ini, mereka akan terpengaruh dgn prinsip haraki tanpa memahami apakah dasar yg mnjadi tonggak kpd sesebuah prinsip itu..Jadi, gerakan pencinta sunnah & gerakan harakiah tidak blh dipisahkan..malah sgt perlu utk digabungkan pada ketika ini..Jika dulu, jahiliah & juga islam jelas nampak perbezaannya..bertudung atau tidak..clubbing/masjid..tapi kini kita mengalami suatu krisis identity yg amat serius di mana islam & jahiliah telah merge together..the thin line between jahiliah & islamik has somehow able to allude many muslims.After many years of struggle of the Islamic revivalism some 30 years ago..we have come to this mixed culture.

Kini tlh muncul trend2 jahiliyah yg berunsurkan islamik..sms2 ‘tazkirah’ di klgn para pndkwah muslimah & muslimin, konsep nasyid ‘cinta’ dan sebagainya. Terbaru, kita lihat fesyen busana muslimah di mana fesyen trsebut ada kalanya tidak menepati ciri2 yg sbnrnya..To say the least..islamik pada luarnya..but the essence is not.Dan persoalan skrg apakah peranan gerakan islam dlm menangani mslh ini? Bagaimanakah harus perjalanan kerja kita skrg utk menangani mslh2 ini?



Aku masih teringat pada suatu ketika dahulu..di mana menjadi buruan ialah suasana yang tarbawi...

Di Surau CF - mingguan kuliah sering diadakan..

Prof omar..

Kapten hafiz firdaus

Ust Ghazali

tidak dilupakan..tafsir mingguan bersama rakan2..solat berjemaah setiap waktu bersama rakan sebilik atau se blok..di mana masing2 akan mengelak untuk menjadi imam..

Apabila di umumkan akan ada kuliah di luar kawasan universiti , kami akan mengaturkan kenderaan untuk ke sana..apa lagi sekiranya kuliah itu luar dari negeri pahang...

Program-program islami telah menjadi sebati sewaktu masih belajar..

Program sifat solat nabi, islamic awareness week, remembering of alquds menjadi annual program di sana..

dan tika itu masih lagi baru diperkenalkan di UIA kuantan tentang ASWJ..

Suasana pada masa itu, boleh dikatakan suasana yang agak memberangsangkan untuk perkembangan D&T..

tapi kini..tidak lagi begitu..

Suasana bekerja bukan seperti suasana belajar...

Kini agak susah untuk mencari sahabat untuk berjemaah sekali

Bahkan kadang-kadang untuk mencari masa untuk solat wajib pun susah..

Sewaktu di Obstetrics and gynaecology ( sakit puan dan perbidanan), jadual sangat sibuk dan terdapat kes-kes kecemasan yang terpaksa kami attend..dan ada waktunya terpaksa mengorbankan solat wajib..

Kuliah-kuliah agama...kalau dapat dengar sekali sekala, Alhamdulillah..

Sesungguhnya bukan seperti dulu..

Suasana bersama rakan juga berbeza..agak sukar untuk mencari mereka yang mempunyai fikrah islam...

apatah lagi dengan pergaulan yang agak bebas dikalangan rakan setugas..

Susah untuk menjaga wara'...

Sesungguhnya ku rindukan suasana dulu...

That old feeling again... we come...

sometimes i get confused...or more of a mixed feeling, so to speak...

during the end of my medical posting, i was a bit enthralled regarding further my studies in the department..

it has been during my student days that i was slightly awed with medical..

I do admit that the workload in medical posting supersede other postings but it feels somewhat exciting...

Probably I am not that enthused with the prospect in other postings that would need for us to go through operations...

But during the medical posting, I was delighted to be a doctor, at least for once...

Allah has granted me to be working with one medical officer that had inspired much..

She was such a dedicated doctor...very knowledgeable and very efficient...

She had inspired me to the extent that I felt the need to be a good and wholesome doctor..

but alas, the inspiration dwindled as I seeped into the holidays..

Even though it was only more than 1 week away from the hospital..yet it was enough to loosen up the enthralled feeling that once resided within me...

As you drift away from the profession, even for a while, then the sinking feeling of going through arduous work gets into you..

The oncalls..the resuscitation..the morning bloods..repeat bloods..presenting to specialists...i repeat...oncalls..oncalls and oncalls..

the stress in the hospital comes and haunt you again...

The next posting will be surgical will be my 5th posting...2nd last posting until I would become a medical officer... and this 2 year stint as houseman would finally come to an end,..

But then again..there would be lots more responsibilities.. and you cannot run away from the dreaded oncalls...

Honestly, I am scared to face the next posting..The expectation would be higher when you are a 5th poster..You are expected to function as a mini MO..or junior MO..Whereas, in reality Junior MO starts during 4th posting, but nowadays, it's sort of different..

Well...that is part of the training programme, I guess...

Ya Allah, do help me throughout the next posting...

Saturday, November 7, 2009

what the future will bring

I do not know what will happen in the future

but I do know what has happened in the past..

I am not so proud of my past, to tell you the truth..

but I am thankful that Allah has lit me the way...

the only ones who i used to know are those who graced the hollywood and MTV

the only universe i surrounded me was the ones that only dimmed it further

words that enlighten me were the literatures of the yesteryears,

the fantasy of commercial interest

It was the 90's and the world was bedazzled with Mariah carey...the boybands and the girl bands

it was the era of backstreet boys, n sync and of course spice girls

Albeit the alternative rock music stood beside me, with the likes of Oasis, Blur, Nirvana ...

While not to forget the ever genius Sherlock Holmes, the writings of George Orwell,

the splendid trilogy by J.R. R. tolkien had kept me enthralled

lest not also to mention the fluffy Sweet valley high series, and the intriguing writer Frederick Forsythe

but Allah has guided me as I grew older...

no longer did I watch the artisttes in awe..

Now something else had replaced it...

Something much more meaningful to me...

It was the day that I discovered true meaning of life...

I finally had a sense of grip in this forsaken trip called life...

It starts with realizing that Allah is our god and we are slaves of Him

Rise upon the glorification are those who deserve its place

Then, the names such as Hassan Al Banna,

Yusuf Al Qaradawi..

Sheikh Bin Baz,uthaimin

Sheikh Ahmad Yassin...

then from the yesteryear,..

ibn taimiyyah

the muhaddith...

and the contemporary...

It was an enlightening journey during my student years...All was so perfectly in place..

Yet, it was all too theoretical and academic...

and I have gotten lost how to piece it together as I embrace the working environment..

what more since now it is in the hospital...

but what I am certain is that...
I am truly grateful for Allah's Grace

Ya Allah, Please Give me Guidance Always...


Friday, November 6, 2009

what i dream of is a utopian society